Weeding out those Brass Hearts

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etsy pissed

Howdy folks.  PISSED here.  Today we’re going to get down to brass tacks  … weed out the wheat from the chaff and learn to distinguish a brass heart from the real McCoy.   How does that sound?

First of all since I’m on a roll with all these platitudes  … we’re going to come clean and call that spade a bloody spade for heavens sake.  And stop beating around the bush  …

Okay now let’s all sit down and face reality.  Most of those hearts you’re accumulating on your Etsy shop are completely meaningless.  They look nice … providing you don’t look too closely and realize that most of them are only gold plated and have no value whatsoever.  They’ve been given for a couple of reasons

The polite reason is that they’re given to you to “thank” you because you hearted something in the donor’s shop.   And those hearts depend on YOU and how many hearts you’ve GIVEN.   After all, most people won’t thank you for nothing.

The scummy shitty reason is that whoever gave you the heart wants to twist your arm and force you to be polite and offer them a thank-you heart in  return.

“Both of these reasons are absolutely useless to you and to the heart donors.  Because you’re NOT going to get a sale out of them.  Nor is the donor.  Neither of you is a customer for the other”.  

Now Etsy doesn’t want you to realize this because they want you to feel satisfied that your shop is busy and that you have activity.  If they can keep your mind from wandering away and latching into the fact that you’re not selling and are desperately tweeting and pinning and spinning, then maybe you won’t realize you’re being conned.  Etsy wants you to want those damned hearts.

Now to help you along and give you a constant reminder, I’m giving you this neat little certificate of truth and honesty, which you can print and cut out and post above your computer or on your bathroom mirror.  Even next to your car license plate.  Your choice.

certificate of useless

. There you are!

Now let’s consider if there are any good hearts in this pile of shit.

shitty hearts

Yep there ARE some.  But very very few.  Best of all are hearts from people who don’t have shops  … these people are potential buyers most likely to purchase.  Then there  are hearts given by people who want to keep a list of things they like AND might buy.   There are people who are keeping a list of things for a Treasury … which gives you exposure.   And there are some people who just want to say ,  “That’s pretty.”    And that’s perfectly okay too.   None of these people are harvesting “return favor” hearts from you.   All of them are perfectly legitimate and are giving you perfectly legitimate hearts.

Now how to tell which hearts are “real” ones and which are scams.

It’s easy.  Go to your activity tab.   Click onto your shop.   A list of people who have hearted your or favorited your shop is right there.

 Click onto the donor’s avatar and then choose “favorites” from the drop down menu.  The only important category is “Things I Love’.   Ignore any of the other lists  … none of the others register hearts.   Etsy likes to complicate things.

You’ll find a lot of people with a lot of favorites.  Some of them like this one … want you to believe they actually “love”  166,292 items!!!   Sheesh.  Even clicking on those hearts every day must take hours.   For fun you can scroll through them and see if your much loved item is anywhere on the first twenty pages of those cherished things  Good luck!

Things I love

 Now let me tell you, anything over a few hundred is a person who is a heart harvester.  And you can toss those hearts in the trash.   Hypothetically or with your mouse.  (A lot of shops from Europe, particularly Lativa, Turkey and the Ukraine are the culprits here).

The bottom line is that hearting items is a waste of time.  It’s window dressing deliberately created to keep your mind from dwelling on the facts.   The question of favoriting or hearting  ( why doesn’t Etsy decide which term to use.   More deliberate obfuscation …. I’ll bet Chad Dickerson can’t even spell that word, let alone define it!) is moot.  If you like the game as an adult version of patty cake, then go for it.   If not, then can it.

Caveat and Disclaimer.  

 SHOP hearts are a different kettle of fish.   A shop heart actually DOES have some value because anyone who hearts your shop will get a notice of what new items you post  … and their “followers” will get one too. ( yep some people haven’t caught onto the follower scam yet  … so might as well ride its coat tail eh?)   So you DO want shop hearts.

You can play the “thank-you” game here too if you like.  Remember you want to get your shop  hearted.  Not get a “follower” which does you no good at all.  So be careful to heart and NOT follow shops.  You want “thank you hearts” for your SHOP.   You don’t want to get on the “Follower” bandwagon.

But avoid hearting shops from Europe with HUGE favorite lists.  Smart people will already have cancelled their “following” option on these shops when they find their activities overflowing with those 166292 items from our eager heart donor.  So you won’t be getting many views from these blocked harvesters.

Not everyone is as dumb as Etsy hopes.

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2 Responses to Weeding out those Brass Hearts

  1. SharonH says:

    Now ain’t that just dumb shit! I’ve been trying to get those follows off for months. It’s very time consuming to have to tap each one to be asked am I sure that’s what I wanna do. Hell yeah! When they first came out, me, like every other dope thought this new follow system would help my business. NOT

  2. Pingback: Etsy Heart Donors | RUSEtsy

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